Dear Church,
For a little over 3 years now your actions and teachings related to the Word have been ultimately destroying my life and I'm sure many lives of others like me... okay, let me explain.
I was raised mostly unchurched, by loving parents who were perfectly content with their lives. If I ever went to church, I slept, and it was okay. This worldly perspective that I grew up with allowed me to see the hypocrisy in the lives of the few churchgoing families I'd been exposed to. And as a younger teen, my goal was essentially to lead my life to the American dream--- I mean, it seemed like everyone was doing it and it was normal, so shouldn't I do the same? Well, this particular path I was planning to go down didn't take a detour for "church"... nor did I intend for or want it to. However, during my sophomore year of High School I found myself taking that unintended detour and sitting in a building surrounded by, for the most part, devout followers of Christ. Not long after, I became a believer in Christ but really had no idea what it was going to entail or what it really meant for my life. I knew there was a change of heart within me, but I didn't know what to do with it. Mainly because no one helped me much with understanding it, and for a long time I felt uncomfortable around fellow followers of Christ because I lacked biblical knowledge-- and honestly, still do sometimes. Thankfully God did some es-plainin on His own and through His word cause I didn't know much of anything and would have been doomed without Him :)
And then here I am now, 3 years and 9 months into my relationship with the Lord. And I think about how crazy it seems that at this very moment I am in Africa-- sitting across the table from two amazing people that I have been blessed to know who are living a radical and obedient life for the Lord. It's here I realize that I personally want this life-- very soon. I NEED to go to the ends of the earth to proclaim His name. Actually, I have been commanded to take the gospel to the nations, so I really have no excuse not to. Is this crazy? It sounds crazy when I read what I just typed. I have entrusted my entire life into the hands of a savior whom I cannot physically see... and I love it. Without Him my life just isn't right. It's like an addiction, and many of the people I know and love seem to constantly encourage this addiction of mine... probably because they have it to.
3 years ago I never anticipated even contemplating the idea of living a radical life, or any sort of life with the Lord. And honestly, even a little over a year ago I didn't consider that God may want to send me elsewhere. I guess I didn't consider that as a follower of Christ, God may want to actually use my hands and my feet to bring His word to other parts of the world. I wanted to live in America then-- with conveniences and all. Now, I absolutely do not. I have no desire to live where life is so abundant with materialistic things while all over the world people are dying of disease and desolation and without Christ. However, in the midst of the disease and desolation is where I want to be... because there is where I see Jesus most. And it's there I feel He wants me. I am still appauled by how much God has changed my life and leading me to do things that seem insane, even to me at times. But I would never, ever change it.
So, Church, you have very much been destroying my me-centered, American dream life-- especially in the past year.... and in place of it, feeding me the reality of Jesus Christ and what a life with Him actually entails. I cannot thank you enough for this. Without it I would be on my way to a very pseudo-Christian life. I pray that every believer in this world will realize, if they haven't already, that this life is nothing unless we are on mission for Him. There is nothing we should want more than to see those who are lost come to know the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
Amazing things happen when God's people come together to make His name known all over the world. It'll be a long, challenging process... because making disciples is not easy or convenient. It is hard, messy, and demanding all because it is relational. But oh... it is beautiful.
Love,
Kayla
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