Well, I have been away from my American-ized life for 5 days now. Aside from sweating to death, being sick for 2 days, and sweating more... things have been amazing! There is so much to cover about the last few days... hmm, I'll try my best!
This one may be my favorite so far because it's been the most adventurous-- TAXIS! Niger taxis to be precise. They are far from a taxi you may find in the states, I guess that's expected, but they have made for many fun-filled mornings! Like today, riding in a taxi... basically all I can do is greet people and tell them where I want to go, because I am lacking in my foreign language knowledge! Anyways, I had some interesting drivers today, like one guy who spoke a little bit of english--- you better believe I talked his ear off as much as I could (as much as he could understand) in the time we were driving since I don't usually get to talk to my taxi drivers! :) Then one guy who was listening to some very crude American music. And yet another guy who kept calling me "white person" (in some language I'm not sure of) and asking me questions that I couldn't answer! Pretty much anything goes for taxis---including chickens, goats, raw meat, whatever wants a ride can have a ride I suppose! Thankfully I haven't gotten any of these lovely creatures next to me yet :)
I have been going to CURE hospital in the mornings as well (which is the reason I have to take taxis). I absolutely love it! Seeing as I'd like to be a nurse, having hands on experience and having an opportunity to be part of CURE is amazing. I have been so blessed by such sweet people there... the kids especially. Their spirits, though they are hurting physically, are bright and bubbly! The past couple days I have been working with kids who have club foot--There is a physical therapist there who I have had the pleasure of assisting. God is really at work in the place! There is an amazing staff who genuinely love the Lord and love what they do which results in a beautiful outcome for the patients and their stay at CURE.
--- Okay, so maybe I'm not going to cover as much as I wanted tonight--- It's only 10 but I am SO tired and going to bed pretty soon. I feel very blessed that God has given me the opportunity to serve Him here again! I love these people and this place and would't trade it for anything :) I am also honored to be staying with the Riggs. Though they may not realize it, they are constantly teaching me something. Whether it's learning how to live like and love Christ more each day to gaining knowledgle on some serious parenting skills (which I have come to the conclusion that I could not be a mother anytime soon in my life. ha! :) ), or learning how to start a generator at 630 in the morning--- on the third attempt (compliments to my lame self for that :) oops..) I am just SO thankful for them and the blessing they are in my life! :)
Anywho... that's all the news for now I guess... to bed I go :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Love and Grace.
This past week has be an absolute mess. You know when you're getting ready to do something and then everything goes wrong? Well, that has been my life since Monday. This whole preparation for Niger had been going surprisingly easy up until this week... A week before I leave, of course. I'll just give a brief synopsis of my hectic week... note that God was gracious through every trial. :)
Monday: I was an hour late to my 8am final--- the result of pulling an all-nighter. But was blessed with a gracious professor who allowed me to go ahead and take my final-- Thanks God.
Tuesday: Found a lovely scrap, dent, ding... etc on the front of my car from someone backing into it. It's times like this where I am grateful for an older car that is paid off :)
Wednesday: nothing happened really... I guess satan gave me a day off from completely annoying me. ha!
Thursday: I was happily informed, via my online flight itinerary, that my flight had been cancelled and moved forward a whole day and a half. God so awesomely provided though--- after i was done freaking out :) May not be the most enjoyable travel but I'll get there.. and I'm sure God will give me some great ministry opportunities :)
Friday: Walked outside after leaving the mall to find my side-view mirror dangling on the side of the car... it's still hanging out there too! :) lol... oh well.
So... yeah, my week rocked. Through all of this my God has been loving and gracious! I was hard-pressed with these trials of mine and didn't quite handle them well, but now realize how simple they were to deal with once I just let God deal with it accordingly. I think that's usually how that always works... :)
Anywho... I am SO excited to be leaving on Tuesday!! Bags are packed and I am ready to go! Cannot wait to see everyone and get some much needed hugs from my 2nd family in Africa :)
Monday: I was an hour late to my 8am final--- the result of pulling an all-nighter. But was blessed with a gracious professor who allowed me to go ahead and take my final-- Thanks God.
Tuesday: Found a lovely scrap, dent, ding... etc on the front of my car from someone backing into it. It's times like this where I am grateful for an older car that is paid off :)
Wednesday: nothing happened really... I guess satan gave me a day off from completely annoying me. ha!
Thursday: I was happily informed, via my online flight itinerary, that my flight had been cancelled and moved forward a whole day and a half. God so awesomely provided though--- after i was done freaking out :) May not be the most enjoyable travel but I'll get there.. and I'm sure God will give me some great ministry opportunities :)
Friday: Walked outside after leaving the mall to find my side-view mirror dangling on the side of the car... it's still hanging out there too! :) lol... oh well.
So... yeah, my week rocked. Through all of this my God has been loving and gracious! I was hard-pressed with these trials of mine and didn't quite handle them well, but now realize how simple they were to deal with once I just let God deal with it accordingly. I think that's usually how that always works... :)
Anywho... I am SO excited to be leaving on Tuesday!! Bags are packed and I am ready to go! Cannot wait to see everyone and get some much needed hugs from my 2nd family in Africa :)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
I'm mortal and there's nothing I can do about it.
I haven't posted recently, but I have had a bit on my heart lately, and through prayer, thought and scripture readings this is what I have come to reality on...so just sharing my recent thinking:
In the book of Isaiah we find this constant refrain of everything being about the Glory of God. However, the problem with that is that we love that, but few of us have any understanding of what that actually means. "ohh, for the Glory of God, yeah" "Oh, it's glory!" <--This is church life. Big words that we can't define.
The definition of glory is really just simply this... weight. So when it says that all Glory is Gods, the scriptures are teaching that HE is ultimate reality. He is more important and more powerful than anything else, regardless of what that thing is. Here's reality though... most of us, I have been here before, know God as a concept. And when we know God as just a concept we are heavier than Him and he is lighter than us. And if we get to this point where we don't understand His weight on our lives we can twist and contourt Him to be whatever we want Him to be. See, when He's a concept and not a reality how we live our lives doesn't change. When He's a concept and not reality, how we handle out neighbors doesn't change. How we handle our finances doesn't change. How we handle situations doesn't change...when He's a concept. But when He is a reality, it changes everything. When He becaomes a reality we are undone.
One day, the fact that I can't love on my sweet babies in Africa won't mean anything, because I won't need to anymore. One day, everything in my bank account will be somebody elses. One day, everyone whom I know and love now will not be there. But here's what's not changing, God has extended His mercy and grace to me through Jesus Christ. I am an adopted daughter into the kingdom. He took every shortcoming, every failure, every screw-up...past, present, and future. And did this for no other reason except that He is merciful. He took alll of this and put it on Jesus Christ, so that when he sees me at my worst, to this day he sees me as lovely, as an adopted daughter. So, if I were to die young, then I just get that much more of Him forever. I want my identity to be in Jesus Christ, not the things He sends me to do for Him. A big and important part of my life is Africa, my heart longs for this place God has sent me to once and is sending me to again. But, my identity is not in the ministry God has sent me to in Niger, because one day I will not go there anymore. I don't want to be wrapped up in the ability to communicate with and serve in Niger... do I love it, yes. Does it define me, no. Cause it is not eternal, it is temporary, and there's nothing I can do about it because I am mortal.
We are in a broken, and fallen world. But it is the weight of the Glory of God that says even in this God is good. Even in this, I will praise His name. And it's only the reality of God that sustains that... not the concept of God. For anytime someone bails on the faith and says "I don't believe that anymore"... what actually happens is that they never believed it. They believe a concept of it but did not understand the reality of it.
This world and our culture will eat us alive if we don't find our identity in the reality of Jesus Christ. I mean, here in Dallas we having nothing to gaze upon, there are no mountains, or oceans or really anything specatular... all we have is us. So what we do is gaze upon us. And this entire culture is about external beauty and showing what we have and it will destroy us if we don't know the weight of His Glory. So basically what the scriptures would say is this.. if you put your identity in external beauty, money, the car you drive or house you live in, or in another person then all of that will betray you because it cannot sustain you. Only the Glory of God can sustain us.
I feel like I just word vomitted onto my blog. ha... but I say all of this because It has been a real personal conviction of mine with the Lord that I follow His every command. Not to do things that I want to in order to hopefully bring Him Glory through it, but that glory would be brought to Him, by Him, through whatever He wants me to do for Him. All in His chosing and timing, not mine. I just want to live being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ wherever I am because eventually all of this, the life I live, will not matter anymore because I am mortal and will die. Gee, what a concept? But the thing is, I, we, never know when God is going to call us home, so unless I am living on constant mission for Him, I am not living.
In the book of Isaiah we find this constant refrain of everything being about the Glory of God. However, the problem with that is that we love that, but few of us have any understanding of what that actually means. "ohh, for the Glory of God, yeah" "Oh, it's glory!" <--This is church life. Big words that we can't define.
The definition of glory is really just simply this... weight. So when it says that all Glory is Gods, the scriptures are teaching that HE is ultimate reality. He is more important and more powerful than anything else, regardless of what that thing is. Here's reality though... most of us, I have been here before, know God as a concept. And when we know God as just a concept we are heavier than Him and he is lighter than us. And if we get to this point where we don't understand His weight on our lives we can twist and contourt Him to be whatever we want Him to be. See, when He's a concept and not a reality how we live our lives doesn't change. When He's a concept and not reality, how we handle out neighbors doesn't change. How we handle our finances doesn't change. How we handle situations doesn't change...when He's a concept. But when He is a reality, it changes everything. When He becaomes a reality we are undone.
One day, the fact that I can't love on my sweet babies in Africa won't mean anything, because I won't need to anymore. One day, everything in my bank account will be somebody elses. One day, everyone whom I know and love now will not be there. But here's what's not changing, God has extended His mercy and grace to me through Jesus Christ. I am an adopted daughter into the kingdom. He took every shortcoming, every failure, every screw-up...past, present, and future. And did this for no other reason except that He is merciful. He took alll of this and put it on Jesus Christ, so that when he sees me at my worst, to this day he sees me as lovely, as an adopted daughter. So, if I were to die young, then I just get that much more of Him forever. I want my identity to be in Jesus Christ, not the things He sends me to do for Him. A big and important part of my life is Africa, my heart longs for this place God has sent me to once and is sending me to again. But, my identity is not in the ministry God has sent me to in Niger, because one day I will not go there anymore. I don't want to be wrapped up in the ability to communicate with and serve in Niger... do I love it, yes. Does it define me, no. Cause it is not eternal, it is temporary, and there's nothing I can do about it because I am mortal.
We are in a broken, and fallen world. But it is the weight of the Glory of God that says even in this God is good. Even in this, I will praise His name. And it's only the reality of God that sustains that... not the concept of God. For anytime someone bails on the faith and says "I don't believe that anymore"... what actually happens is that they never believed it. They believe a concept of it but did not understand the reality of it.
This world and our culture will eat us alive if we don't find our identity in the reality of Jesus Christ. I mean, here in Dallas we having nothing to gaze upon, there are no mountains, or oceans or really anything specatular... all we have is us. So what we do is gaze upon us. And this entire culture is about external beauty and showing what we have and it will destroy us if we don't know the weight of His Glory. So basically what the scriptures would say is this.. if you put your identity in external beauty, money, the car you drive or house you live in, or in another person then all of that will betray you because it cannot sustain you. Only the Glory of God can sustain us.
I feel like I just word vomitted onto my blog. ha... but I say all of this because It has been a real personal conviction of mine with the Lord that I follow His every command. Not to do things that I want to in order to hopefully bring Him Glory through it, but that glory would be brought to Him, by Him, through whatever He wants me to do for Him. All in His chosing and timing, not mine. I just want to live being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ wherever I am because eventually all of this, the life I live, will not matter anymore because I am mortal and will die. Gee, what a concept? But the thing is, I, we, never know when God is going to call us home, so unless I am living on constant mission for Him, I am not living.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
These next couple of weeks are about to fly by and then before I know it I will be on a plane on my way to Niger. I'm not quite sure it's actually set in with me yet that I am leaving this American home of mine in just 2 short weeks. But I am more than excited for this journey God has in store! Finals are about to take off starting this week and then I will have 4 the following week! Busy little life of mine...
This past week has been a bit interesting, to say the least. Conviction and trials have been everwhere... As I sit here on my computer in my comfty little bed with my iphone next to me and a kitchen full of food just a few steps away I begin to think about the place God is sending me to very soon. And it hits me, as it always does, that this "normal" life of mine is constantly taken for granted. I find myself feeling guilty for having so much and never having to know what being hungry is like or what it's like living without clean clothes or shoes on my feet, because I have all of that... and more... and living this life brings conviction. And when this conviction and burdening of my heart overwhelms me I want to just drop it all. Sell everything I have and give it away... then pack up my bags and go to a place that has nothing. I love the idea of leaving my American home permanantly for a much different life. But as much as I love that idea, I have to come back to the fact that it's not God's plan right now. I honestly wish it was because, to me, it is so much easier to live a necessity based life being in a place that ultimately has nothing than living here where everything is at my fingertips. But of course, God reminds me that living life for Him, no matter where in the world, is not going to be easy. Let's just say that I am ready to be in Niger where I get to live a much simpler life for a couple of months. I'm so ready to love on sweet babies who really do have nothing... and not just physical needs but nothing in regards to Christ. These sweet children, women, and men who are lost and believing in something that will never save them are in serious need of a Savior! God is so just so good and I cannot wait to see all that He is doing in Niger. :)
This past week has been a bit interesting, to say the least. Conviction and trials have been everwhere... As I sit here on my computer in my comfty little bed with my iphone next to me and a kitchen full of food just a few steps away I begin to think about the place God is sending me to very soon. And it hits me, as it always does, that this "normal" life of mine is constantly taken for granted. I find myself feeling guilty for having so much and never having to know what being hungry is like or what it's like living without clean clothes or shoes on my feet, because I have all of that... and more... and living this life brings conviction. And when this conviction and burdening of my heart overwhelms me I want to just drop it all. Sell everything I have and give it away... then pack up my bags and go to a place that has nothing. I love the idea of leaving my American home permanantly for a much different life. But as much as I love that idea, I have to come back to the fact that it's not God's plan right now. I honestly wish it was because, to me, it is so much easier to live a necessity based life being in a place that ultimately has nothing than living here where everything is at my fingertips. But of course, God reminds me that living life for Him, no matter where in the world, is not going to be easy. Let's just say that I am ready to be in Niger where I get to live a much simpler life for a couple of months. I'm so ready to love on sweet babies who really do have nothing... and not just physical needs but nothing in regards to Christ. These sweet children, women, and men who are lost and believing in something that will never save them are in serious need of a Savior! God is so just so good and I cannot wait to see all that He is doing in Niger. :)
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